Today I want to talk about how you can experience a big YES in your life and feel so good on how it is going, no matter what.
Oh, the YES. Take a moment and breathe that in. Feel a YES in your body.
It’s that feeling of expansion, of feeling renewed and refreshed, and eager to actually be living your life. Perhaps you feel that in your heart, or your throat opening, or perhaps your stomach relaxing. It can feel like a warm summer sun or a loving hug of joy.
And this feeling of YES creates empowerment. It brings you back to what I call your Powerful Presence, to your self trust and knowing you are capable of facing whatever is in front of you. The YES is a fire within, strong and burning bright.
Except feeling a YES can be almost impossible, especially when we are in the midst of confusion, disappointment, and fear. We don’t want to say YES to these strong emotions that can feel like a tsunami that will take us out, so what do we do then?
How do you feel good about your life when it feels out of control, or you are not seeing the results you deeply desire?
What about when things are falling apart? Who wants to say YES to that?
I understand. I felt the same confusion! Until I discovered the WAY to create a YES in my body, despite what was going on or what strong emotions were arising.
The path to a YES is Mindfulness
What is Mindfulness? Mindfulness is a practice. It begins with an actual action you take, and then becomes a way of being. Mindfulness takes you out of a spinning mind and brings you back into your body and the present moment. As I shared on my IG this week, Mindfulness is the basic human ability to be fully present, aware of where we are and what we’re doing, and not overly reactive or overwhelmed by what’s going on around us.
When we practice Mindfulness, we’re practicing the art of creating space for ourselves- space to breathe, and space between ourselves and our reactions.
One of my favorite Louise Hay quotes is, “the point of power is the present moment.” Mindfulness is that doorway BACK to your power. It’s been lost in the sea of repetitive destructive loops in your mind or toxic patterns in your body, and Mindfulness allows you to come back, to return to your seat of power and feel space again.
The YES in your body only comes with space, so it’s vital to begin with a practice that creates space first.
And it’s very important to know that Mindfulness looks different for each person. Mindfulness could be meditation, yoga or some other moving spiritual modality, exercise, or even brushing your teeth! One of my first Buddhist teachers instructed me to place all of my awareness on just brushing my teeth. Let me tell you, it was quite eye opening as I realized I had fallen into a habit of going over all my anxieties while I went on automatic pilot with the motions over my gums. Starting there created space for me, in something that only took two minutes. Mindfulness could even be washing the dishes. What if you placed all your attention and focus on actually feeling the sponge or cloth in your hand as each plate and utensil made it’s way from soap to rinse?
Whatever it is, you always feels more space AFTER. You feel connected to your capability, and confidence.
Now I want to give you a real life example of how Mindfulness not only created space in a very difficult moment, but actually ended up saving my life.
On Thanksgiving Day in 2012, my whole world fell apart. My then husband knelt in front of me and told me he didn’t want to be married anymore, didn’t want to have children, and was in love with another woman. I was devastated, and in a complete panic. I desperately wanted a family and at the age of 37, was now facing losing my chances. I always thought we would have children together, and now didn’t know what to do.
I was about to enter tech for a Christmas musical I was dance captain in, and after my husband left, I had to go to work and felt like a hole had opened and swallowed me. How was I going to face the cast? How was I going to even face this day? My whole body was constricted and I was angry, scared, and screaming over and over in my head, NO, NO, NO. I didn’t want what was happening.
I rolled out my yoga mat to do some warmups as I usually did before going to the theater and a voice came up so strong within me that said, “you need meditation.”
Considering I was about to lose everything, and felt so lost, I thought, “yea….that would probably be helpful.” But I had NO idea where to start, so I got out my phone and looked up meditations for stress. I found this simple meditation that involved saying four sanskrit words, Sa Ta Na Ma, over and over as I joined my thumb to my first, second, third, and finally pinkie finger. The four words translate to:
Sa– birth, cosmos
Na– death, transformation
As I did this simple practice, I felt tears fall, and my breath slow. I felt my panic relax, and space open inside my heart. That was when a YES came in, meaning I was reconnecting to my capability and strength. I was then able to go to the theater, and also made the wise decision to not tell anyone in the cast and instead call my best friend and my mother, the two safe spaces that could hold me. Instead of fighting what was happening, mindfulness allowed me to create the space needed to bring life back in.
It was no accident that the final word in this meditation is rebirth, as that was what I needed. That day was actually the beginning of a whole new life, that has now led me to a life partner that cherishes me and we are in the process of adoption now.
That moment on the yoga mat showed me I could transform all the constriction, all the pain, and the panic. And it set me on a completely different way of dealing with my life, one that actually supported my fearless vision.
I’ll bring this all home with a quote from one of the most vital and important teachers of our time on Mindfulness, Thich Nhat Hanh,
“There is only one kind of success that really matters, the success of transforming ourselves, transforming our afflictions, fear, and anger. This is the kind of success, the kind of power, that will benefit us and others without causing any damage.”
This is the YES. The yes to your magical power, and it lies in coming present.
Coming present through Mindfulness. Coming back home to life.