How do you want to feel in front of your audience?
I imagine you would love to feel confident and at ease.
And because of this, you light up, become more animated, and feel excited to speak to them.
You look into their eyes and see you have their attention, and most of all, they GET you. They are with you, hanging on your every word! Sounds and feels amazing, doesn’t it?
Too often though, we feel the exact opposite.
Perhaps you get in front of your audience and instead think,
What are they going to think about me?
I am SO nervous! Can they see that?
You may feel your hands sweating, throat go dry, and as if all your ability to speak clearly go out the window.
You want to be compelling, and attract your audience in, and yet, you find yourself locked in fear.
You may feel this push pull of wanting to feel confident, but instead feeling discouraged. And you may look at other people out there who make it look SO easy, and just say,
What am I doing wrong?
Why do I always feel so nervous and scared?
What is the secret to confidence? How do the great performers and speakers do it?
I used to be scared of my audience.
Yes, the woman who spent 20 years of her life on stages and on camera was scared of her audience.
Actually, when I really drill it down, what I was most scared of was what they thought about me. I really cared about their impressions. I wanted their approval, and most of all, I thought if I had their approval, if they clapped and cheered, then I was a good person.
And if they didn’t clap and cheer, I was a bad person.
I remember a college acting professor telling us before going on stage, she would grab the curtain in the wings and say three times,
Then, she would go on stage and kill it. At the time, I saw this was her way of trying to teach me how to not care about what the audience thought, but when I tried this technique, I then just felt disconnected and confused when I did perform.
It didn’t make sense! If I hated the audience, enough to tell them to go F off, why would I then perform for them? Didn’t I want to share this story with them?
This confusion stayed with me throughout my career, and really caused me to go on a roller coaster of caring about what my audience thought and then not caring. It felt like two extremes, and neither was really giving me what I wanted, which was to feel confident and not doubt myself.
Because I had amazing moments on stage of feeling great, of the audience cheering. But I had NO idea what was actually happening to cause that.
So, the confusion continued, and the fear continued. And I felt dis-empowered.
Until I experienced a huge wake up call that stopped my life and career cold. In going through a devastating divorce, for the first time in my life, I began to share my vulnerability, telling people and many times strangers about what I was going through. And when I did this, I found people moved close. And then they would share with me how they were feeling as well.
It was as if a space had opened up between us.
A powerful space that allowed me to be honest and for them to also express themselves.
There was no performing. There was just this beautiful space where we were connecting on what we shared.
And it was all emanating from within me. It wasn’t about my hair looking perfect, or saying the right thing, or even putting on an act. It was no longer a performance.
I watched people soften in this space.
I watched people open up in the space.
And I realized this was what I had been longing for on stage, and in all truth, this was what I had been longing for in my life. To have meaningful connections with the people I interact with.
So, I did something radical, after 19 years in show business, and a BFA in musical theater. I stopped performing.
And I found myself booking more work, being noticed and hired by directors and choreographers who had never paid me attention before. I had a complete career resurgence.
Because I no longer needed my audience’s approval to share my work. AND I wanted deeply to share what I had to say because I knew it would make a difference for them.
I was ok as I was. And because I stood in that, I allowed my audience to feel this same acceptance and love as well.
My confidence actually inspired their confidence.
We were working together as partners, from a place of just being two humans.
Powerful presence is you lighting up a room. It causes your audience to move to the edge of their seat and want to hear more. It is being magnetic to the audience you desire that will support your work and voice.
As a performer, I kept placing my attention on how I looked. I placed all my attention on everything outside of me, what people thought, what people said, the clothes I was wearing, my hair…on and on. It was my divorce that stopped me and caused me to instead place my attention on my inner world.
And it was when I looked there, I saw a lot of fighting. Fighting against my feelings and against what I perceived as being unacceptable, or what media and mainstream culture told me was “correct”.
I found my Powerful Presence when I decided to stop fighting myself and instead bring a whole new energy to the table, one of love. Love for myself and acceptance for all parts of me.
Because I realized that my presence was really about being OK with who I was and how I showed up in the world.
And I took many specific steps to drop the fighting, and they all created a MUCH different experience with my audience. One where I was no longer exhausted from pretending, or heartbroken from rejection.
I could stand on stage, or in front of a camera, or in front of people and then actually feel confident.
The inner creates the outer, always, as Louise Hay says.
Now claiming my Powerful Presence and knowing how to cultivate and nourish it daily, I transformed my life and now have helped hundreds of others to do the same across the globe.
And this is what I want for you.
I want you to feel amazing in front of your audience, so you can enjoy your work, grow your business or art, and actually have an impact.
And trust me, I remember how I felt. I felt like I was at a cross roads and REALLY wanted to have very different results in my life. And after the insanity of last year and where we are now, I can only imagine you feel the same.
That’s why I took all these steps. And I want you to know, you are not alone, and I have taken so many people through this same process.
The process to your Powerful Presence.
Because it is when you access your Powerful Presence, you attract your perfect audience, and you unlock your Unstoppable Confidence.
Next month, I will be inviting you into an opportunity to go on this same journey. I’ve been working on this just for you and am so excited to share it with you.
I can’t wait to see you shine as your life transforms!