Do you feel frustrated and stuck, seeing the same things happening over and over again in your career?
Do you feel like you have done SO much, tried SO many things, and yet you STILL are not getting the results you want?
I imagine this must be so disheartening.
I also imagine, because you are reading this, you have passion. But what you probably are really desiring is confidence in what you are doing.
You are connected to what you want to do with your life, and YET, you may feel like you are banging your head against the wall trying every new thing.
You deeply want to stand with confidence and SEE what you are doing is actually working, as opposed to trying one more new thing only to be disappointed.
I imagine you are standing there going, can I just BE there yet?
And our present situation isn’t helping much. In fact, I imagine with all the isolation and uncertainty, it’s bringing up all your insecurities in very close quarters.
What actually works?
What will actually make a difference for you NOW in these crazy times?
And what will help you to move forward and not stall or burn you out?
How do we cultivate confidence in our actions during big challenges to empower our dreams?
I’ve rarely felt confident about my skin.
I would always marvel at women who wore no makeup, and ask,
How do they DO that?
What are they doing that I’m not?
When I hit puberty, I started using all the products available to rid myself of my acne. At that time, I had no concept of chemicals, so you can imagine I was wiping my face with vigor, dousing it in Ocean Breeze and anything else I could get my hands on.
Because, the burn meant it was working!
In high school, the obsession turned to total consumerism. I was exposed to department stores, and was convinced if I just bought this FULL line, it would work, and all my acne would disappear.
And in the meantime, I was making sure to cover my face up with makeup to hide the blemishes I had.
Every time, I would buy a new line, I would feel such hope, and during the first week or so, would swear
I can see it!
And then, the acne would return, and I would crash into the disappointment.
With each new wave of product that hit the market, I would believe THIS is what would make a difference. THIS is what will work, only to find myself in the same place again and again.
Can you relate?
Have you tried so many things hoping the next thing would be the answer?
What did you believe when it didn’t?
I began to believe I would always have skin issues.
I began to believe I needed to wear makeup all the time to cover it up.
So theater was a perfect fit.
I loved learning all the ins and outs of stage makeup.
When I was wearing all these layers, I looked perfect.
My skin looked flawless.
No one could truly see what was underneath.
But, that deeper desire to feel confident in my skin, and to see results was still present.
I just didn’t know HOW, so I kept doing the same thing, which was to try the latest craze and HOPE it would work.
And then, in my late 20’s I was exposed to Paula Begoun and her work around exposing the makeup industry in the United States. I learned they didn’t have restrictions and could basically make any claim they wanted. I learned there were no regulations in place for them to adhere to.
And I realized that for years, I had been lied to.
And what’s more, I had taken the lies for truth.
I started to learn about chemicals, and the harsh effects they had on the human body, and started to overhaul all the products that came into contact with my skin.
And as I went through my 30’s I watched my skin start to dry. After years of combination skin, this was concerning too. I knew I was getting older, but this felt premature.
And then I went through the deep trauma of divorce in my late 30’s, and for the first time, started to ask for help. I started to work on my inner world, to forgive myself, and to heal from the heartache.
And my skin cleared.
I stopped wearing makeup every day.
It was miraculous, and I felt so hopeful.
And for the first time, I began to think,
Maybe the health of my skin is more about what in happening INSIDE, not what I put ON it.
Then, in my 40th year, I started to experience large patches of dryness on my cheeks and forehead. I had never had something like this before, and the acne all returned, but this time was cystic, painful, and intense.
I went to a dermatologist who put me on all these steroid creams, and nothing worked. When she wanted to put me on antibiotics for three months, I left her office. No way……
And beneath I was feeling so discouraged.
My skin had cleared!
Why was this happening?
Was this ever going to change?
And then, thankfully, a bio-chemist who was in my networking group took one look at my skin, and said,
You need to get blood tests.
And just as my 41st birthday approached, I was diagnosed with pre-diabetes.
It was a massive shock, but again set me into a whole new place of discovery and learning about blood sugar, and about the gut.
And here, again was this teaching….
the skin really was a reflection of what was happening INSIDE me.
With massive changes in my diet, and completely reversing my blood sugar numbers, my skin cleared again. I felt so encouraged!
And then, the dryness came back.
I felt so defeated and then my migraines began.
I was diagnosed with massive mineral and vitamin deficiencies, hormone imbalance, and the real kicker, mold toxicity in my gut.
So, no wonder my skin was so dry. My skin was actually an expression of what WAS happening inside.
And especially in my place of deep knowing…my gut.
My gut needed to heal, and in January of this year I started a detox protocol. And I watched the acne get worse. All the toxins were coming out in my skin AND I had the dryness. It was a double whammy, and I truly wondered if this would ever change for me. The younger part of me was saying again,
I believe I will always have skin issues.
I believe I will always have acne.
I believe I will always have dryness and it will only get worse with age.
I felt like I just couldn’t win. It didn’t seem to matter ALL the things I had done, and changed.
Have you ever felt that?
For years I held the vision of working with a skin expert who was holistic. Someone who wouldn’t tell me to put harmful products on my skin or to take antibiotics.
And in this place of really struggling, she came into my life.
And her whole approach to skin was about what was happening ON the inside. It was such a relief and she started me on a new protocol.
I wanted to be hopeful. This was probably the millionth time I had bought a line of products, deeply hoping THIS would work.
And I told her, the main thing I was concerned was the dryness. If I had done SO much to heal my gut, why was I still having this dryness? I just couldn’t understand it!
So, I started and we scheduled a two week check in. And it felt like my skin was actually getting dryer…..I would look in the mirror and just think,
It’s not working.
And then the morning of the check in with the esthetician, I was practicing Qi Gong, and at the end, the instruction is to massage your face. You do this to harvest your Qi, your life energy. You do this by running your two forefingers up the bridge of your nose, and then all your fingers across your forehead, and down your cheeks.
And my skin was coming off in my hands.
Or SOMETHING was…
It was like an eraser and I looked down to see all this skin on my hands.
And then I felt my face and realized it was soft.
A softness I didn’t know if I would ever feel again.
Underneath the dryness that I had been dealing with for three years, there it was.
My skin was there all along.
It was all underneath.
It was as if the products had created a barrier that allowed my skin to shed…..the dryness to shed, to uncover the softness underneath.
And when I had my check in and shared this moment with the esthetician, she said,
Oh! You just needed exfoliation!
To shed the outer layer.
The layer that believed this would never change.
Because underneath all those dead skin cells was vibrancy and life. It never left. I just lost sight of it.
And as I type this, I can share it’s been a month now, and the changes are only improving.
It was one CRAZY winding road, but when I look at it all, I see how one thing led to another to another, and all to bring me to trusting I truly have everything I need inside.
The answer is inside.
And my skin was doing all it could to remind me.
My skin was actually telling me when things were OFF, and because I didn’t give up, and stayed ON the journey, I found clarity, and I found what works.
Each time, I trusted my internal gut, things cleared.
We can so easily beat ourselves up when things aren’t working, and it’s really easy in the midst of disappointment to think,
I just need to work HARDER!
But, what if you took a step back from the frustration, and instead brought your most powerful tool:
Curiosity releases judgement and allows you to take a bird’s eye view of what is happening.
Usually when we are deep in the belief that things will never change, we have cut ourselves off from our creativity, and alternative answers, and especially from receiving help.
Trust me, I was really discouraged, but I kept asking questions, and the biggest was,
Why is this happening?
And if we take this question from a place of compassion we may find some answers that actually HELP us, as opposed to tearing us down.
Because, you truly HAVE the answers inside.
My thirteen year old self desperately wanted to believe the answers to her lack of confidence all lay within the Ocean Breeze bottle.
Or within the powder blush….
But, it was the adult woman who started to wake up in her 20’s and ask,
Why is this happening?
My gut was off for a long time, AND my skin was the guide to remind me to go back within.
Try this for yourself . Wherever you are not seeing the results you want, take a look at them from a place of compassion.
Tune in to your knowing.
Because when you trust yourself, that is the true seat of Confidence.
It’s not in a bottle, product, or outside of you.
It’s all there within.
And the path is a path. It’s not linear, but I do imagine it is a reflection of your choices, actions, and core beliefs.
So, allow yourself to shed what no longer serves you. And know who you are is there underneath. Soft and alive.
Waiting to shine.