Do you feel like you are stuck in a pattern?

Do you feel like you are experiencing the same disappointment over and over?

Rejection letters from publishers.
Booking agents never returning your call.
The people you thought you could count on not showing up.
Low attendance to your events and shows…

Basically, you are hearing NO a lot.  And that can be so disheartening!  I imagine you would love to scream out to the universe,
Can I just get a BREAK?
When is it MY turn for success?

It can feel deeply discouraging, especially when you CARE so much about your work. I imagine deep in your heart, you KNOW what you have has value, but have felt blocked on how to end all the rejection and experience your fans and a team that promotes you saying YES!

Imagine them saying,
We LOVE what you do!
We WANT what you have!

Imagine stepping into the beautiful flow of actually hearing YES to your dreams and being fully supported.

Feels amazing, doesn’t it?
Now, how do you make this a reality?

I was recently in a car accident.  It was more of a fender bender, but really startled me.  I was in a traffic circle, and realized too late I was taking the wrong exit.  Between my confusion with the navigation, night driving, and not being familiar with the area, I was clipped on my left side by a pick up truck.

I knew it was my fault, and immediately got out of the car to speak to the other driver and apologize.

Then I looked down at my car and was shocked.

It had felt like the impact was so light, but looking at my car, you would think otherwise.  The whole front left light was crumpled in, and my headlight was hanging precariously inside from a wire. My hubcap had come off, and was somewhere in the traffic circle. The pickup truck looked as though nothing had happened.

Within minutes, my husband had arrived and the cops.  I was on the phone with insurance, filling out forms, and trying to take care of everything legally.

Once it was over, and we had pulled off into a parking lot, I started to weep.

I felt embarrassed.
I felt self conscious.
And I felt angry at myself for allowing this to happen.

We went to grab some groceries, and I could feel I was in shock.  And then something arose in my mind…..
I’ve been here before.
Six years ago, I was in two car accidents in one day.
Six years ago, I was taken advantage of by the towing company
Six years ago, I was threatened by the  car lot owner to dismantle my car without my consent.

I could hear his voice in my mind, in a dark tone saying,
I will take your car apart piece by piece and there is nothing you can do about it.

I remembered my insurance having to send out a private investigator to get my car back. It was a nightmare, and the two car accidents were the last horrible thing that happened to me in one year’s time. Before all that, I went through a divorce, was robbed, and lost a dear friend to a heart attack.  It was a rough year.

I haven’t been in a car accident since then.

Would it be the same?
Was I doomed to repeating the same scenario?

Leaving the grocery store, I was very guarded.
Would I get in another accident on the way home, just like six years ago?

When we got home, the left side of my back was starting to seize.  I knew this was where the fear had lodged itself, as I was hit on the driver side.  My amazing husband gave me a loving massage and Reiki and I went to bed.

What would tomorrow bring?

Have you ever felt this?
The fear of what’s to come based on what you’ve experienced?

I was so scared I would go through another horrific experience post accident because that was what happened last time.

It can be so easy in those moments to want to manage any possible disappointment in the future, by trying to FEEL the fear of what MAY happen.  We can believe that if we just prepare ourselves for the worst, perhaps it won’t be as bad.

I used to do this all the time with big auditions.  If I had not danced well for a particular choreographer or not been kept by a specific casting agent, I would try to manage any possible disappointment by EXPECTING IT.

Well, they just don’t like how I dance.
This casting director doesn’t like me.
They never keep me, so why should this be any different?

Sound familiar?

I was anticipating the disappointment in an effort to actually protect myself.
But what I didn’t realize was I was also shooting myself in the foot by setting myself up for failure instead of success.

What if I had gone it believing,
Today is a new day, one I have never lived before!
I am going to dance my best today.

Very different energy, than walking in trying to pretend as if I KNOW the outcome. With this intention, I would actually be in the PRESENT, instead of trying to manage the future.

And when I approached my auditions like this, the outcomes were VERY different. I could release what the casting directors thought of me, and instead place my attention on just doing my best.

Which usually meant I was kept and booked the show.

The day after my recent car accident, I woke up and my back had relaxed in the night.  I had a small window of a few hours to take care of getting a rental car, and dropping my car off at a shop to be worked on.

Everything flowed.
Everyone was so helpful.
I was able to take care of everything I needed within a few hours.

Very different from six years ago.

As am I.

I am not the woman I was six years ago. In the morning after the accident, I stayed present to each task, instead of spending the morning worried about what could happen.

Because the largest lesson I have learned is the simple truth,
Change is constant.

I got scared.  My mind went right back to the trauma of that first accident.  And then, I was grounded back into reality, and reminded by everything around me that things change. I focused my energy on the moment.

Things change.
Thank goodness.

So, whatever accident you have suffered, take a moment and love yourself.  You are allowed to feel what you feel.  Once you have brought love to the frustration, now ground back in reality.

What if this is your opportunity to make a new choice?
If change is constant, then you are not doomed to repeating the same disappointment.

Release managing your future, and instead focus your energy on what you are doing NOW.

Your point of power is in the present moment. The past is over, and we don’t know the future, so use what is right in front of you.

You can change your life right now, and end the cycle.

When you say YES to the power of being present, you will hear YES all around you.

Photography: Caitlin Cannon Photography

©2019 NikolRogers | Design by Rachel Pesso | Caitlin Cannon Photography